Monday, July 16, 2007

Left Out

today we went out cycling again. N has suddenly decided that she's no longer afraid of hills and can bike down hill by herself. That's victory! :) So we biked to the playground with some neighbourhood kids.

While at the playground, N asked a friend Tara to sit with her on a swing, and her friend obliged. Her other friend Sue got a little jealous, and also wanted attention. So Sue decided to ask Tara to play with her instead. Tara couldn't make up her mind, but since Sue was persistently calling her, she decided to follow her.

I'm sure we all know the games children play, gangs and "I friend you" and "don't friend her" and "your side or my side" etc. they decided they were against N and left her out of their play. At first I coaxed N and tried to get her to play with baby J instead, but as she watched the other two girls play, she began to feel lonely. She tried to join them once, but I think they intentionally left her out, so she came back to sit by me again.

And then...she started to cry and say stuff like "they don't wanna play with me.." "they don't love me anymore..." You know, I just wasn't sure how to react. I wanted her to learn to be strong and just and get her way into the group, yet I was a little sorry for her, coz today she was the target of the other two. Sue's quite a gang leader, and I just wish N would stand up to her and be as tough.

And I also didn't want her to cry, coz I thought she should just get over it and go find some new friends instead of feeling helpless and isolated. In the end, not knowing what to do, I just said in a harsh voice, "if you wanna cry, let's go home." So off we went home. Tara had to come with us, coz she was using N's other bike.

Once home, Tara apologized for leaving N out, and so they hugged and made up. But I foresee that this will happen very frequently once N gets into school. How do I "toughen" her up? I don't know..... Should I toughen her up? I think I should. Children are pretty aggresive nowadays...